Willy warmers and Durex wool

I was taught to crochet at the age of 7 or 8 by my Nana and the dinner lady at school. I knew that to start you had to create a little chain stitch loop and then make 12 treble crochets into that loop. But I hadn't sussed out how to then make the regular increases which result in a big flat circle or square.
So, depending on the thickness of the yarn and the size of the hook I was using, what I managed to produce was a range of what I called 'purses', complete with drawstring tops, which I gave out as presents. The ones shown here are not originals; I made them last week to illustrate my point as both are created with the same 6mm hook.
Anyway, Mum used to tell me a story that on one afternoon Nana and I were crocheting away, and Nana showed off her latest design using gold metallic yarn which she mistakenly referred to as 'Durex wool'. And sat at her feet was a little girl making willy warmers. Ah bless. (See more about this in the comments below)
Once I had worked out how to do the increases there was no stopping me. Here is my school photo aged almost 9. The photographer commented that he liked my tank top. I was so pleased with myself and blurted out "I made it!!" You can see the precociousness (or is it smugness?) written all over my smirky tight-lipped smile.
Everything in that photo is home-made; Mum made that shirt and together we made the bobble hair thingies.